the-siren-of-rapture:

This is me almost all the time

(Source: delillie)

disarms:

blazin??? more like prayzin stay in church

undercover-magi:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

meladoodle:

*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin

idk man it was inside a vagina more recently than you were

image

(Source: meladoodle)

thecellopirate:

thecellopirate:

thecellopirate:

why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom

because freedom rings

image

stop unfollowing me

rnemes:

snorlaxatives:

clouds look so friendly i wish i was a cloud

image

this cloud doesnt look very friendly to me

(Source: snorlaxatives)

(Source: starpunch)

leinabby808:

anus:

the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up

deep thoughts from an anus

(Source: anus)

(Source: reddit.com)

francieum:

tltty:

IF YOU’RE 14 WHY ARE YOU TAKING NUDES??????

yeah i know right?? when i was 14 i was on my 10th sex tape omg kids these days

(Source: hungarian)

yepperoni:

short story made out of lil b song titles 

yepperoni:

short story made out of lil b song titles 

(Source: yepperoni)

askneppy:

multipack:

row row row your boat gently away from me

Merrily merrily merrily merrily please just fuckin leave

(Source: ihaveremade)

winxhesters:

potato-tots:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

hugstyles:

why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out

my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once

when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve

mommy:

I’m not in the mood for anything but a nap tbh.

roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate